"It's not that I am an inherently sad person, I just catch heartache as if it were flu."
The sound of a heart breaking is not what you would expect.
It's long pauses and downcast eyes.
It's sighed breathing and sleepless nights.
It's lonely tears that never find the ground,
but instead are wiped away before they can make a sound.
It's "I'm okay." and "I'm not down!"
It's "You go ahead!" and "I'll see you around."
Hearts don't shatter like lighting meeting ground.
Hearts don't tear apart in a thunderous sound.
Hearts are fragile and soft like you,
Hearts like mine catch heartache like you catch the flu.
Wednesday 11 May 2016
Thursday 24 March 2016
Dear Me
I'm sorry. I am so sorry, for the
Abuse I've been putting you through lately.
Mutiny is the only option you have left,
Slowly, I can feel it, your rebeling against my dictatorship,
Only I can save myself, but I wonder if it's worth anything anyway.
Suffocating you, drowning in endless crashing waves.
Of course, the drugs and alcohol don't help, but at least I'm numb.
Rebel on, dear body but do not
Rely on me.
You really did deserve so much more.
Abuse I've been putting you through lately.
Mutiny is the only option you have left,
Slowly, I can feel it, your rebeling against my dictatorship,
Only I can save myself, but I wonder if it's worth anything anyway.
Suffocating you, drowning in endless crashing waves.
Of course, the drugs and alcohol don't help, but at least I'm numb.
Rebel on, dear body but do not
Rely on me.
You really did deserve so much more.
Tuesday 1 March 2016
Electricity - Part 1
The sky was electric. Its pulse was nothing short of frightening as it spontaneously lit up somber clouds hanging low overhead. The street was alive, greedily drinking in every rain drop that shattered against its glistening oily facade.
She was running, her feet carried her like a bird on a breeze and the tear stained sky had left her shoulder length hair a soaking mop of tangled deep brown shades. Her heart was beating hard against her rib cage, like a captive animal longing to break through its confinement and be free.
As she ran, her clothing sucked tightly against her body, cold began to seep into her bones like fog covering a graveyard. Her legs became a blur as she rounded a dark corner until suddenly, like a crack in the ice, her heart stopped, her breathing halted and her feet became rooted to the spot.
Nothing in the world made her feel more alone than the landscape painted before her, a long and narrow street cast into inky darkness lay before her like a post war memorial. Deserted and dark, until a whisper of movement caught her eye. She stood, paralyzed, for a heartbeat while her eyes adjusted. The rain was brutally assaulting the landscape, throwing itself against suburban houses, perfectly trimmed trees and shut oak doors in a fury. A dark mass shrouded in shadows began to form into a huge dark figure and stood hauntingly in the middle of the street. Staring straight at her.
Her pulse started pounding in her ears and her hands began to quiver as she slowly mustered up the courage to take a few steps towards the apparition.
"Just act natural." She thought quietly to herself, "People don't go running around town at one in the morning, maybe he's not looking for conversation."
Cautiously looking back over her shoulder she continued her journey forward. The streets snaking away behind her had suddenly gone dark as well and she was painfully alone. Her mind jumped back to the beginning of her journey and quickly recalled its way through the route she had already come, trying to distract herself from whatever encounter might take place in a few meters.
Her slow shallow footsteps seemed to echo through the empty suburban yards and bounce through the darkness like a chaotic orchestra, trapped between fences and walls that seemed to close in on the road. She cast a daring look at the figure, it hadn't moved since she had laid eyes on it.
"It cant be waiting for me... can it." The idea made her heart race again and caused her legs to nearly buckled underneath her small body.
"Just a few more steps and I can start running again." Her mind was counting the paces between her and the stranger. Trying her best to seem as normal as a rain soaked person wandering around at ungodly times of the morning could be. She looked around nervously at the houses that littered the street.
"All these houses look exactly the same. I will never live in something that looks the same as everything else, there is no sense of self anywhere." She abruptly decided to herself in her deeper thoughts.
"I often find that individuals are mostly the same." The dark voice caught her off guard as it boomed around her head, she tripped and fell, bouncing off the hard wet tar. Pain shot through her knee as she looked down to see the blood beginning to drip and mix with the water dripping off her body. As quickly as the ground loomed up to kiss her, the stranger had closed the space between them and was standing, looming over her petite body.
Her eyes panickedly, searched for an escape as she rushed to her feet and fueled by adrenaline, set off at a hundred kilometers per hour. She was happy running, she had been doing it her whole life, and running away was no exception. As she dashed to what she thought was safety she felt her heart ease into a rhythm similar to her footsteps.
The little street seemed to become more narrow with every steps she took, her breathing was labored as she dared a glance back towards the place she had previously fallen. The lighting cast an electric white flash across the length of the street drowning out the colours only to be snuffed out seconds later. Eyes still adjusting she had seen the street and the pitch apparition wasn't there anymore.
Her heart and legs slowed to a slight panic and as they did a cold hand wrapped itself around her wrist and yanked her towards a billowing silhouette.
"I don't understand why people always try to run." The voice was eery and deeply unhappy and caused goosebumps to raise like the dead along the length of her arms.
"I was... uhh.. running because... it's, it's kinda my thing." She stammered out in a voice smaller than she hoped for.
"I know." The voice bounced around the air in front of her face. "I know everything about you."
Her heart stopped. The inky veil of night faded away between eyelids closing fast, falling against the tar like an autumn leaf lost on a breeze.She slowly faded into the grey the storm had brought with it.
She was running, her feet carried her like a bird on a breeze and the tear stained sky had left her shoulder length hair a soaking mop of tangled deep brown shades. Her heart was beating hard against her rib cage, like a captive animal longing to break through its confinement and be free.
As she ran, her clothing sucked tightly against her body, cold began to seep into her bones like fog covering a graveyard. Her legs became a blur as she rounded a dark corner until suddenly, like a crack in the ice, her heart stopped, her breathing halted and her feet became rooted to the spot.
Nothing in the world made her feel more alone than the landscape painted before her, a long and narrow street cast into inky darkness lay before her like a post war memorial. Deserted and dark, until a whisper of movement caught her eye. She stood, paralyzed, for a heartbeat while her eyes adjusted. The rain was brutally assaulting the landscape, throwing itself against suburban houses, perfectly trimmed trees and shut oak doors in a fury. A dark mass shrouded in shadows began to form into a huge dark figure and stood hauntingly in the middle of the street. Staring straight at her.
Her pulse started pounding in her ears and her hands began to quiver as she slowly mustered up the courage to take a few steps towards the apparition.
"Just act natural." She thought quietly to herself, "People don't go running around town at one in the morning, maybe he's not looking for conversation."
Cautiously looking back over her shoulder she continued her journey forward. The streets snaking away behind her had suddenly gone dark as well and she was painfully alone. Her mind jumped back to the beginning of her journey and quickly recalled its way through the route she had already come, trying to distract herself from whatever encounter might take place in a few meters.
Her slow shallow footsteps seemed to echo through the empty suburban yards and bounce through the darkness like a chaotic orchestra, trapped between fences and walls that seemed to close in on the road. She cast a daring look at the figure, it hadn't moved since she had laid eyes on it.
"It cant be waiting for me... can it." The idea made her heart race again and caused her legs to nearly buckled underneath her small body.
"Just a few more steps and I can start running again." Her mind was counting the paces between her and the stranger. Trying her best to seem as normal as a rain soaked person wandering around at ungodly times of the morning could be. She looked around nervously at the houses that littered the street.
"All these houses look exactly the same. I will never live in something that looks the same as everything else, there is no sense of self anywhere." She abruptly decided to herself in her deeper thoughts.
"I often find that individuals are mostly the same." The dark voice caught her off guard as it boomed around her head, she tripped and fell, bouncing off the hard wet tar. Pain shot through her knee as she looked down to see the blood beginning to drip and mix with the water dripping off her body. As quickly as the ground loomed up to kiss her, the stranger had closed the space between them and was standing, looming over her petite body.
Her eyes panickedly, searched for an escape as she rushed to her feet and fueled by adrenaline, set off at a hundred kilometers per hour. She was happy running, she had been doing it her whole life, and running away was no exception. As she dashed to what she thought was safety she felt her heart ease into a rhythm similar to her footsteps.
The little street seemed to become more narrow with every steps she took, her breathing was labored as she dared a glance back towards the place she had previously fallen. The lighting cast an electric white flash across the length of the street drowning out the colours only to be snuffed out seconds later. Eyes still adjusting she had seen the street and the pitch apparition wasn't there anymore.
Her heart and legs slowed to a slight panic and as they did a cold hand wrapped itself around her wrist and yanked her towards a billowing silhouette.
"I don't understand why people always try to run." The voice was eery and deeply unhappy and caused goosebumps to raise like the dead along the length of her arms.
"I was... uhh.. running because... it's, it's kinda my thing." She stammered out in a voice smaller than she hoped for.
"I know." The voice bounced around the air in front of her face. "I know everything about you."
Her heart stopped. The inky veil of night faded away between eyelids closing fast, falling against the tar like an autumn leaf lost on a breeze.She slowly faded into the grey the storm had brought with it.
Friday 19 February 2016
A Blaze
That fire burning deep inside of you,
It's blazing at a million degrees.
It consumes and devours,
It reduces all it sees to ashes.
It's blazing at a million degrees.
It consumes and devours,
It reduces all it sees to ashes.
Your words, they search for oxygen to live
You scream them and shout them
At the top of your lungs.
They roll off your tongue like blazing coals
And find their final resting place among the words of others
Burning in the inky night sky.
You scream them and shout them
At the top of your lungs.
They roll off your tongue like blazing coals
And find their final resting place among the words of others
Burning in the inky night sky.
The fire inside of you,
I know where it started burning.
It was ignited like gasoline with words like matches
That burnt with an intensity
You weren't yet ready for.
I know where it started burning.
It was ignited like gasoline with words like matches
That burnt with an intensity
You weren't yet ready for.
Forgive my icy heart,
I have had a hurricane blowing through my frostbitten veins
For sometime now.
I have had a hurricane blowing through my frostbitten veins
For sometime now.
I sometimes wish my reckless and frozen eyes
Could somehow dampen the fires that burn within you,
Because they rage,
And rage they do,
On and on without relent.
Could somehow dampen the fires that burn within you,
Because they rage,
And rage they do,
On and on without relent.
You are a burning torch,
A flaming symbol that demands awe.
And me, I am a mere snowflake,
Who has forgotten that the sharpest swords,
Are forged in the hottest flames.
A flaming symbol that demands awe.
And me, I am a mere snowflake,
Who has forgotten that the sharpest swords,
Are forged in the hottest flames.
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